A Big Ben update

Well, I am sitting here in Ben's parents' living room, using Ben's laptop to type this update. Where do I start? I guess I start from the last update...

Last time I reported on Ben was to say that he wasn't having liver surgery as we had originally thought. This was an unexpected change of plan, and although at first we were uneasy about it, we maintained a positive attitude and thought, well, great, he is avoiding a big operation, that can only be good. But as more time went by and we spoke to more and more people about it, the more we came to the conclusion that not having surgery wasn't a good idea. Even Ben's oncologist suggested we get a second opinion.

So Ben went and spoke to a second liver surgeon. This guy seemed to have a much better idea of what was going on and gave me a much better vibe. (The original liver surgeon Ben saw gave me a bad vibe - he didn't seem to have all the facts of Ben's case with him when he saw Ben and didn't seem to have communicated with Ben's oncologist which did not reassure us at all.) The second surgeon fully recommended liver surgery. It's apparently a known fact that the best way to cure cancer is to operate AND have chemotherapy. Chemo alone apparently carries more risk that cancerous cells will grow back. So we went ahead and booked liver surgery for mid-April.

We were much better prepared for this surgery - I booked 2 weeks off work, and we arranged to stay with Ben's parents as they live closer to the hospital than we do (it's Basingstoke hospital). With no work, immediate family support available, and nearby babies (our delightful nieces Izzy and Liv) to keep our hearts light the scenario was much more comforting than the one we had following Ben's bowel surgery last year. (I was very stressed trying to balance work, looking after Ben and being everyone's point of contact)

We took him into hospital yesterday, and were visited by the usual rounds of staff - nurses, the anaesthetist, the consultant and registrar, a doctor, the consultant's representative, etc. The anaesthetist sat down with Ben and gave an excellent description of what would happen during surgery and how his pain would be managed. The consultant's representative also sat down and told us what the surgery would involve and what the risks were. He told us that Ben would most likely have his entire right lobe removed, as well as a wedge from the left lobe. When I asked how much of his liver that added up to, he said 60%. This came as a shock, because to date we'd only been told about the wedge, about it being a small operation, and that they 'would have a look' at the lesions on the right of his liver that had been blurry and inconclusive on the scan and decide what was required during the operation. I guess the guy was trying to paint the worst-case scenario for us, but I was really worried about the 60%, as were Ben's parents. We tried not to let our concern show for Ben's sake, but it was difficult. And I really hated leaving him there at the hospital all alone last night. I came home and lost myself in silly internetting to distract myself from getting distressed.

This morning we got a phone call from the consultant post-surgery, much earlier than we expected. He told us that it was a small operation after all - they managed to remove all the lesions from Ben's liver without taking more than 10% of it out. And he only lost a cup of blood. Given how much blood runs through the liver this was a great result. June (Ben's Mum) and I were so happy about this news that we hugged and had a little cry after the phone call. I am so happy... I know people recover from having the 60% liver resection but it was just another unexpected turn of events I wasn't prepared for.

I guess you just need to be ready for the landscape to change at any time with these things. Doctors' opinions change, further scans can change diagnoses and treatments, treatments can change based on the patient's reaction to them... you just have to be flexible and open to the best outcome, regardless of how twisty and turny the route to it can become.

I am just so happy to know my boy is ok. He is a trooper, and I am positive he will recover well from this surgery as he did the bowel operation. I get to see him tomorrow afternoon (this hospital is rather strict on visiting so I can't stay with him all day) and I can't wait.

After this, he has a 6-8 week recovery period, then 2 cycles of chemo left. Then I pray that that's it. He will need to be closely monitored - scans every 3 months for the first year post chemo at least, because he is so young and there is more time for potential regrowth. But I am confident we will see the end of it this year.

Thank you again to everyone who has emailed, texted, called, Facebooked etc. Your love and support has been invaluable and I'm sure it's had a lot to do with the great outcomes we're having. Thank you so much :) xxx