It's official: I'm engaged!

I can't quite believe that I am engaged to be married... it's all happened so fast. My darling Ben proposed to me while we were away in Australia, last week. We have told family and close friends, and have changed our relationship status on Facebook, hoping that the rest of our network notices. (Feels a bit strange disseminating important news that way.) I am very happy and somehow at peace. Yay! :)

For those of you who want the details (I have been asked for them many times today, my first day back at work, so I know they're wanted!), the full story is as follows...

It all started in June. It was a few weeks before our 4-year anniversary dinner, which Ben had booked and was acting a bit cagey about, not telling me where we were going. We were in our bedroom, and I was tidying up my jewellery, when Ben started asking about my jewellery-wearing habits. It started with necklaces, moved on to bracelets, and then rings. I was instantly suspicious, and Ben knew it. In the ensuing discussion I managed to make it clear that if he were to get me a special kind of ring, that I'd want to pick it, but would appreciate a token if the special question were to be popped.

So... the chat about rings together with the cagey dinner booking naturally made me assume Ben was going to propose at our anniversary dinner! Confident in my assumption, I casually mentioned it at Ben's cousin's hen do, where female members of Ben's family, including June (his Mum) and Tracy (his brother's partner), were gathered.

Apparently soon afterwards Tracy told James (Ben's brother) of my expectations, and James told Ben, whereupon Ben swore and hit his head... because of course he had been planning ahead for Australia, forgetting that we had a significant date coming up earlier!

And thus poor little me sat there at our lovely anniversary dinner waiting for a question that didn't come. Oh dear. I can laugh about it now, but I have to admit I was disappointed at the time. And embarrassed! Especially after telling all the Turner-Robinson-Brittain-Cole crew! It took me ages to confess to Ben. In the end I just put it out of my head and figured he'd propose when he was good and ready.




Move forward to Australia... In the emotional maelstrom that was my visit home (reunions, family interactions, time spent with a beautiful baby), getting a proposal was the last thing on my mind. So when Ben whisked me away for some 1-on-1 time, I just thought he was spoiling me :) And spoil me he did, with style!

We went to a lovely boutique hotel in South Yarra, where we had a great massage and drank a bottle of champagne while we got ready for our evening out. We had a sensational dinner at a restaurant called Da Noi - the chef's menu is highly recommended! And then, having missed the session times for something a bit more romantic, we saw District 9 at the flicks - I loved it!

The next day was a lazy sleep-in, breakfast in bed, and then a walk around the gorgeous Botanical Gardens, where the last part of Ben's stealth assault was put into action: a pre-booked hamper with 5 mini courses, and more champagne! We sat and enjoyed our meal in the glorious sunshine (rain had been forecast but the weather gods were smiling down on us). As we prepared to leave I got up but Ben was still on the ground for some reason, and seemed to be on one knee. He then pulled out a jewellery box and my breath caught in my throat. And then he asked me to marry him. I was so overwhelmed I said nothing for a few seconds, then blurted out a "yes" and grabbed him in a big hug. Of course I also started sobbing. Then I stopped and said "hang on, let me see what's in the box first!" hehe Ben then gave me a beautiful 'sweetheart' bracelet with an little heart charm engraved with our names. Awwww :)

We walked around in a happy daze for ages afterwards, and kept calling each other fiance (or fiancee) because it was all so strange and new and fun.

So that's our story. We don't have a plan yet... we don't know where, when or how we'll be getting married, but I do know this: I'm having a beehive hairdo!

The new love of my life

This is a post I should have done 2 months ago, but I was waiting for some good photos to come through first. Given as I *still* haven't been sent loads of photos, the ones here will have to do.

I am delighted to introduce to you all my beautiful little nephew Luca James Iakovidis. He was born on the first of May this year, weighing exactly 8 pounds. He is a little Taurus born in the year of the Ox, the same as his Auntie Mimi. In fact, he could have even had the same birthday as me (May 5th) but this way he arrived a bit earlier.







Barbara (his Mum) and Gary (his Dad, my brother) have been doing a marvellous job as first parents. They've even got Luca using Skype to communicate with far-away Auntie Mimi and Uncle Ben, even if it's just yawns and cute looks at this stage.

Little Luca is growing fast.. he's 2 months old already! I simply can't wait to meet him, and hold him in my arms for the first time. We're flying to Oz for a short visit in September, mainly to see this little gentleman and spend as much time as possible with him.

In the meantime I keep photos of him on all the computers I use, and I talk to him every day, even if he can't hear me. I absolutely adore him. It's been quite difficult for me to be so far away from this special little bubba, knowing that I'm missing out on all the little details and watching him grow and change by the day. I know the first thing I'm going to do when I see him is burst into tears. I've given Gary due warning. Then again, anyone who knows me well wouldn't expect anything less :)

A Big Ben update

Well, I am sitting here in Ben's parents' living room, using Ben's laptop to type this update. Where do I start? I guess I start from the last update...

Last time I reported on Ben was to say that he wasn't having liver surgery as we had originally thought. This was an unexpected change of plan, and although at first we were uneasy about it, we maintained a positive attitude and thought, well, great, he is avoiding a big operation, that can only be good. But as more time went by and we spoke to more and more people about it, the more we came to the conclusion that not having surgery wasn't a good idea. Even Ben's oncologist suggested we get a second opinion.

So Ben went and spoke to a second liver surgeon. This guy seemed to have a much better idea of what was going on and gave me a much better vibe. (The original liver surgeon Ben saw gave me a bad vibe - he didn't seem to have all the facts of Ben's case with him when he saw Ben and didn't seem to have communicated with Ben's oncologist which did not reassure us at all.) The second surgeon fully recommended liver surgery. It's apparently a known fact that the best way to cure cancer is to operate AND have chemotherapy. Chemo alone apparently carries more risk that cancerous cells will grow back. So we went ahead and booked liver surgery for mid-April.

We were much better prepared for this surgery - I booked 2 weeks off work, and we arranged to stay with Ben's parents as they live closer to the hospital than we do (it's Basingstoke hospital). With no work, immediate family support available, and nearby babies (our delightful nieces Izzy and Liv) to keep our hearts light the scenario was much more comforting than the one we had following Ben's bowel surgery last year. (I was very stressed trying to balance work, looking after Ben and being everyone's point of contact)

We took him into hospital yesterday, and were visited by the usual rounds of staff - nurses, the anaesthetist, the consultant and registrar, a doctor, the consultant's representative, etc. The anaesthetist sat down with Ben and gave an excellent description of what would happen during surgery and how his pain would be managed. The consultant's representative also sat down and told us what the surgery would involve and what the risks were. He told us that Ben would most likely have his entire right lobe removed, as well as a wedge from the left lobe. When I asked how much of his liver that added up to, he said 60%. This came as a shock, because to date we'd only been told about the wedge, about it being a small operation, and that they 'would have a look' at the lesions on the right of his liver that had been blurry and inconclusive on the scan and decide what was required during the operation. I guess the guy was trying to paint the worst-case scenario for us, but I was really worried about the 60%, as were Ben's parents. We tried not to let our concern show for Ben's sake, but it was difficult. And I really hated leaving him there at the hospital all alone last night. I came home and lost myself in silly internetting to distract myself from getting distressed.

This morning we got a phone call from the consultant post-surgery, much earlier than we expected. He told us that it was a small operation after all - they managed to remove all the lesions from Ben's liver without taking more than 10% of it out. And he only lost a cup of blood. Given how much blood runs through the liver this was a great result. June (Ben's Mum) and I were so happy about this news that we hugged and had a little cry after the phone call. I am so happy... I know people recover from having the 60% liver resection but it was just another unexpected turn of events I wasn't prepared for.

I guess you just need to be ready for the landscape to change at any time with these things. Doctors' opinions change, further scans can change diagnoses and treatments, treatments can change based on the patient's reaction to them... you just have to be flexible and open to the best outcome, regardless of how twisty and turny the route to it can become.

I am just so happy to know my boy is ok. He is a trooper, and I am positive he will recover well from this surgery as he did the bowel operation. I get to see him tomorrow afternoon (this hospital is rather strict on visiting so I can't stay with him all day) and I can't wait.

After this, he has a 6-8 week recovery period, then 2 cycles of chemo left. Then I pray that that's it. He will need to be closely monitored - scans every 3 months for the first year post chemo at least, because he is so young and there is more time for potential regrowth. But I am confident we will see the end of it this year.

Thank you again to everyone who has emailed, texted, called, Facebooked etc. Your love and support has been invaluable and I'm sure it's had a lot to do with the great outcomes we're having. Thank you so much :) xxx

Snow, glorious snow!

By now most of you will have heard all about the snow that fell in London and beyond last weekend. It was a big deal, despite some people's denigrating comments about how we UK residents "should be used to crap weather by now". The snow was a big deal, because, well, it was snow! Not rain nor hail nor sleet, but at least 6 inches of lovely powdery white stuff that coated our world and created a playground for those of us lucky enough to skive (English word for wag) off work.

I can walk to work in 30 minutes, and I had user testing scheduled, so I had to go in. But I didn't mind - it was lovely! I trudged through the snow in my pretty wellies* (English word for gumboots), watching kids and adults alike building snowmen, having snowball fights, using their shoes as makeshift skis and generally creating powdery havoc. Lots of laughter could be heard, and people were far more inclined to smile at complete strangers. It was a weird and wonderful morning.

I took some photos on my way to work on Monday, here is a sample. I'll be putting the rest up on Smugmug soon.

*There is a huge industry over here for cute patterned wellies for us ladies.

P.S. Monday was also Ben's birthday! He turned 32.

A slight change of plan

After a great chemo-free Christmas and New Year, Ben got away for a few days snowboarding in Austria (under strict instructions to not push himself or do anything silly). The fresh air, exercise, and fun of doing one of the things he loves best did my boy the world of good and he came back smiling and with his (side-effect) acne greatly reduced.

So then Ben and I were gearing up for his liver surgery which was supposed to happen in mid-January. But at his next consultation, the liver surgeon said he wanted to do another scan, just to be sure. The scan revealed the lesions had shrunk so much due to the chemo that it just wasn't going to be worth operating. So great news is that Ben doesn't need surgery! Of course this threw us at first - being told one thing, then another under these circumstances doesn't make anything easier, but it's wonderful that he doesn't have to go through the trauma of surgery again. And it's clear that the cocktail of drugs Ben is on is working, which is also great.

So, while we still have a few questions about what it all means for future eradication of all cancer cells, we're happy, and now making social plans for the next 6 weeks!

Ben will be starting the next round of chemo next week. This will be another 3-month stint. We're better prepared this time - he's getting a 'portocath' (presumably a portable catheter) put in under the skin on his chest so the IV chemo drugs can be plugged straight into there rather than into his arm veins which have been suffering a bit.

Thanks to everyone who made enquiries after Ben's (and my) health... sorry I've not had much of an online presence lately... it was just an overhead I couldn't deal with while we sorted out what was happening with treatments, and work/leave arrangements and everything else. Needless to say your ongoing support and love is helping us along enormously, as always :)

What the 2008/9 festive season has been for me

- a Legofest - hours upon hours of making and sorting Lego both new and old with incredibly satisfying results
- subjecting our baby nieces to wearing pink reindeer headbands with bells on them
- a chemo-free Benjy!
- lots of yummy food and good wine, courtesy mainly of Ben's parents
- watching a bizarre and wonderful circus/cabaret show called La Clique (highly recommended)
- learning how to do my eye make-up a bit more daringly and creatively
- wearing my 'Burlesque' dress for the first time
- watching a woman light up a flaming g-string and nipple covers as part of the New Year countdown
- an impromptu gig by moi (see last post)
- hearing 'Chicken Payback' in a club venue and bending some funky grooves with The Turner
- scoffing all the chocolates I got given within 3 days of receiving them
- getting Volume 1 of Absolute Sandman (YAY!!!!) - thanks Benjy!
- getting the ultimate Kath & Kim DVD Boxset in a rooly nice and unusual quilted white handbag case (YAY!!!) - thanks Mum & Dad!!
- knowing with absolute certainty that 2009 is going to be an amazing year!

Happy New Year everyone! xx