Feeling royally shitful

(Warning: moan alert)
I woke up this morning with a splitting headache, stomacheache, nausea and dehydration and thought I may have food poisoning. This is on top of taking all of last week off for a throat virus, which also sapped me of my strength for half a week a fortnight ago, and for an entire weekend a fortnight before that.

I am really over being ill! Can't I have a break from it, please? :(